其實很多男孩子都不知道，

女孩子在沖他們發火後自己轉過身卻在不斷啜泣

其實很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子從來不會真正去生他們的氣，

因爲她是真的喜歡他在乎他。

其實很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只會對自己喜歡的男生嘮嘮叨叨，

也只會對自己喜歡的人耍性子。

你要知道，假若她不喜歡你，

她根本不會來在乎你關心你，怕你做錯事情。

你要知道，假若她不喜歡你，

她根本不會對你發火不會沖你撒嬌讓你哄她.

你要知道，假若她不喜歡你，你根本就沒有本事讓她哭泣，

讓她即使生氣也不會超過2天。

而這一切都只是因爲她喜歡你，

而這一切都因爲你還不夠在意她不夠懂她。

於是，你們時常爭吵，你認爲她脾氣不好，

她認爲你不夠遷就她。

於是，你們總是冷戰，你以爲她不喜歡你，

她以爲你不在乎她。

於是，你們總是莫名其妙的彼此錯過，

也許擦身而過，本身就是一種悲傷著的無奈與幸福。

要知道，淒美依然是美的一種，並且美的絢麗悲涼而苍桑，

那是更加的美。

因爲她喜歡你，所以她偶爾沖你發火，時常對你撒嬌

因爲她喜歡你，所以她才會生你的氣；

而又因爲喜歡你，她才不會去生氣很久。

你可知道，每個女孩子的心都是水晶做的，

晶瑩剔透，但是很容易就碰傷摔碎。

你可知道，每個女孩子都是不設防的，

你那么輕易就闖進她的心，走的時候卻只留下傷害。

她從來都不知道，這個世界上根本沒有可以讓她哭的，

因爲真正值得她哭的那個根本捨不得讓她哭。

她會很矜持，她會很驕傲，她會很冷淡，

她總是嘴裏說著你走開，心裏卻一直叫你留下。

請你張開你的耳朵，也請你打開你的心，

去聽她心裏真正的呼喚，而不是她嘴裏的口是心非。

她會看著你轉身，然後她跟著你轉身，當側身而過的候，

你看不見她的淚，滂沱在臉上心裏。

如果你喜歡她，請你多陪她；

如果你喜歡她，請你多关心她；

如果你喜歡她，請你多讓她。

如果你喜歡她，請你去聽聽她內心的聲音，那是呐喊着你請擁抱她。

在愛情裏，總是彼此傷害，

彷佛這樣才能證明自己愛得激烈愛到轟轟烈烈。

可是，愛情裏沒有孰對孰錯；愛情裏更加沒有你比我我比你少。

你愛她，她愛你，如此就已經足夠。

不要試圖讓彼此傷害，

讓彼此更加脆弱悲傷。

你們彼此相愛，

你們需要的是溫暖是幸福是甜蜜是快樂，不是傷害。

不要用沈默宣戰，不要互不相讓，更不要什么話都不说就冷漠離去。

要知道，你離去的時候，你的眼睛起了霧，她的眼角泛著淚光。

越是安靜戰火就越傳，這是冷戰也是彼此的傷害着

無論是怎样的複合，那些傷口曾經存在，抹不去。

請給她一個擁抱，用你的擁抱去化解她心裏的悲傷與角的淚水。

她喜歡你，她絕對不會拒絕你的擁抱，

她只會害怕你的冷漠轉身無聲安靜。

請記住，相愛的人不要輕易宣戰，因爲冷戰帶來的傷，

也請記住，只要你喜歡她，

沒有什么是你接受不了的，只要你喜歡她，就喜歡她的一切一切。

那么她所有的小性子所有的壞脾氣所有的臭毛病，

在你眼裏都是撒嬌。

也請記住，她喜歡你，她需要的不是你真的轉身，

她只是想你寵她，想你抱她，哪怕，沒有道歉!

today is the first time i was having night class in IPKB, 8.30pm-10.30pm. haha.. but actually before 10pm the class is dismissed

the 1st impression of having night class is merely tiring. however, this time is really out of my expectation. just relax and go… when i told him.. the first reaction is worried of me… haha… can understand what he worried of. when i walk down that time is really dark. the lights are dim or not functioning. the pathway is dark and terrifying. even there is someone walking beside you, smiling at you, you cant even recognise who is that.

last sunday, i was back from church. at the guard house i can saw some events in the hall. however i dont know what is that. when i reach room restlessly, my roommate only informed me that there is malay movie being shown in the hall. all the trainee teachers are compulsory to attend to prevent being thrown  into hot water…

i was forced to go alone as my close friends here had back from that. she just said it was a boring movie, just wrote your name there to show you are presented then come back.. i was forcing to go alone in darkness. once i down from my hostel block, it was in total darkness. only the stars in the sky are shining on me. even the motorcyclist’s face cannot be seen. worse to worst, even raper also dont know who he was raping.

out of a blue moon… when i was on the long dark way to the hall… pass through the canteen.. there were a group of malay guys calling my name… the canteen’s lights are off… i couldn’t see who they are… and i dont have the courage to approach them though they keep calling me. i was just scared.

All the while many people in the college will looking at me. some even dont know me but just staring at me… i was… dont  know what to do…

at the terrifying moment… i just called him…he was not convenient to talk… i keep calling Oh Lord Jesus so that i can reach the hall faster… i just feel  insecure… on the way back to hostel… i again pass through the same way… a malay guy pass beside me and looking at me… but i still cant see who is he… i still feel afraid.. again i called him… call him once… no answer… twice… still no answer.. the 3rd time i was totally give up… because i know God is with me~

however, today the night class was different. at least i have a taekwando instructor accompany me…

stil the same dark route but i feel safer. the lecturer even brought her cute cute son along. just a simple grammar class on future tense. nothing to scratch my head and the time pass fast. we still have the strength to have supper and back to online…

such a day… is ended… the 14th of october… 3rd months in IPKB…

haha… sometimes really take time to think of the title. dont know how to write as the main idea in my blog. just feel want to write whatever i felt.

just now a friend show me his blog’s link. i just reading from the beginning until one paragraph… “i admit i had a crush on her…” this make me amazed~ i really speechless and dont know what to do or what to react. just feel be glad to have such a friend like him. we still can hang out in group.. as..  friend.

i only back to kb 1 week. the life is getting hectic. my work schedule will be queued up to November before i start i my year-end holiday.. it is too much…

yesterday i was having acute stomachache. the class is held at the middle of afternoon. from 2.30pm changed to 3pm-5pm… huh~ i forced to wake up and go for this 2 hrs social studies class. Thanks God i have a good alarm. haha… this alarm will be few minutes late but really working. really can make me up. this alarm will sounds.. halooooo…. wake up lo…. then i just en.. still  blur blur.. then this alarm will laugh. haha.. so sui… but it is not available in the market yet i owned it. wahahahaha….

after class is the pressure back. the 2 hrs class is nothing. just chasing for our work to be done. need to do research and back to the group discussion again. when i told him about my class, he also said is like a primary school. girl like to call my full name by having nothing. another 2 girls will like to pull my hair and even ask do i straighten my hair? oh no.. is not straight enough and it come naturally. in this environment is how the work moving on…

really stress >.

haha. my birthday had passed. today is my old old friend 18th birthday. when we chatted back, i only noticed i was seeing her youngest sister born, is 9yrs ago… our friendship has remain for 9 years. next year we will go for our 10th year friendship anniversary.

haha, actually i also have a friend that i knew him 13 yrs ago. but we are not so familiar as the first sight of him is still in kindergarten. he was chubby cuttie boy but now is a strong man with 183cm.. wow~

friendship is really precious. to remain its preciousness is not easy too. a group of 6 is very hard to  be gathered. from the time, date, place to transportation, we finally come to a meet. all of us still the same. all our characteristic still the same. the fierce and calculative girl is best for counting money and choose dishes, the two guys are still gay-ing at the corner. when ask to serve, they really hurting us by throwing all the food into the steamboat.. ouch~ when he sat beside me in car, his saliva still flew to my hand… the tender girl still silently sitting looking at us how we crazy. the birthday girl still violent, still like to kao lui instead of kao zai. haha… we are back again~ yeah~ this raya holiday is worth-to-be back.

porridge steamboat is not satisying. a group of 6 squeeze in a car to secret recipe. luckily no police checking. haha… they still the same.. said i drive very wolf. haha.. i have improvement now, wont more than 100. turning i will press on brake. haha. just they making a lot of noise… ear sore… happy monday is come to an end…

情有多少种类？ 友情很错，爱情呢? haha, is the answer i like to give. i used to be decisive, but love? haha… speechless. dont know what to do, dont know  how to react, duno how to decide, dunno what to say. just haha… maybe because of this attitute, i miss a lot of chances. haha… really dont know what to do. is distance a problem？ last time i think yes, but when i was there, we still keep in touch as usual or even see each other on cam. when i was back, definitely the feel is nearer. on the other hand,  he is always near to me whenever i was… thanks for the advancement on technology. when i back to kl,  we hang out as usual  but in the eyes of others, these two are like couple. but actually.. he is my best friend = bf. is this only a relationship of a friend?

haha, let others to answer.

hahaha… today considered the happiest day i had in kb. hahahaha… dont know what to write but just hahaha…

i think i prefer to type now rather than talk. i have lose my voice. it is very noisy in the 工商会馆。 the chinese here are rich. they have lion dances, fire crackers, distribution of candles and lanterns, meals, air-conditioned hall and various performances which include hip-hop dance, kids performances, singing and etc. it is nearly to perfect.

the happy thing is that besides church, this is the place i met all the chinese. it is a place for chinese gathering in kota bharu. IPKB only have 5 of us going which is 3 guys and 2 gals, we are all teachers-to-be.  however, UMK(universiti melaya kelantan) has a bus of students. haha, a bus.. how many students? 40? not sure, they said can fetch us back too because UMK is very near to IPKB.

haha, only interacting with them are funny. actually at the beginning only guys to approach us or me. girls are hiding somewhere…. but later on we also went to talk with gals. they are all funny and fei like me. haha… same language. in a formal language is called humorous. haha… i know quite a lot of them. some i would like to say sorry because i changed their name. haha, easy remember ma.  for an example, stephen is 史提分，他接下来的朋友就是分手快乐咯。哈哈，不好意思，我真的不记得分手快乐叫什么名了。反正我叫他分手快乐他就应我。下次史提分和我要教他唱“分手快乐”了。不懂辉辉会唱了没。

夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。 因为赶着回去，连史提芬的要求也办不到。只是陪他唱了“分手快乐”第一句。然后CHORUS一句，就被逼要走了。 对不起史提芬，我们下次邀分手快乐一起出来再唱。

其实除了史提芬和分手快乐，还认识很多人。但还没认识完，只是认识他们几个就够了，都快笑破肚子了，我也失声了， 里面已经很吵，他们还要讲话，只好大大声讲咯，又要大大声笑。喉咙很伤哦！老板也是讲他没有声了。哈哈，我记得老板叫什么名，JASON GOH。 还有很多哦，cheryl, emily, annie, sharon and so on…

tomorrow still have a lot of presentations to do. haha. sorry no projection of voice. happy mooncake festival! and my birthday is on this month. haha… going to be 18…

大个女了，嫁得咯。不懂回KL还有人和我庆祝生日吗？总觉得18岁生日很重要，就算迟了也要庆祝。。。 因为。。。 我已经长大了。。 再想想我21岁的生日。。。 我已经在英国了。。。不能回来庆祝了：（

Praise the Lord~ He had listenend to my prayer and responded to it~ supposedly i will  have class on 12 sep, from 8-11.30am as promised by the social studies lecturer. however, i was so disappointed that i cant join the Lord’s table meeting on that day… wuwuwu…. and i prayed to Lord. Oh Lord Jesus, pls let me remember You by breaking the bread(His body that crucified on the cross) and drinking the wine(His blood that shed for us). Oh Lord, thank you for dying on the cross to redeem our sins. pls let me go for the Lord’s table meeting…. just on thursday, the lecturer announced that friday replacement class is canceled! HALLELUJAH!!!! i can join the Lord’s table meeting~ unbelievable! Thanks Lord~

this week im no longer rushing for any assignments but i still have work to do. so i went out with them for house visitation. actually today Lord’s table meeting is enjoyable enough because brother goh is joining us. Oh, Praise the Lord! he even pray together. at night we visited his house. sis goh join us too. she keeping asking why we all so happy and smile while pray-reading the word of God? haha, just the Lord Himself satisfying us! bro goh bought a pda phone~ wow! HP brand. maybe he saw  nearly everyone of us in church have a pda in hand. hehe… actually their pda all is including  bible, life study, hymnal, spiritual publication which is all the word of God!

just want to Praise thee~ my spirit is fully saturated by thee!

很复杂，现在的心情真的很复杂。。。 不懂怎样形容。不敢下判断，这再也不想我，原来当知己也那么复杂，那么在乎对方的感觉，我真的不知道了。这种感觉很可怕。。。只是3个字，被作弄。我们俩都太敏感了。，

最近真的很忙，喘不到气。窒息的感觉真恐怖。压力，重担，烦恼，一切消极的事物正在迎面扑来， 我快撑不住了。偶尔真的很想找个温暖的胸膛给我抱抱，什么都不用想，就是静静地。。。简单地。。。躺着一个我熟悉，我喜欢，给我平安的人。。。

这会实现吗？有人会答应我吗？我真的很累，永远一次的安眠是最好的选择吗？

this month is the fasting month. 3rd day… am i fasting? you guess…
my malay classmate laugh and said… hahaha… you are impossible to fast, you always said hungry… mom mom~

yes, she is absolutely right. every friend that come along with me will know that i will hungry very fast. not so fast, but 2-3 hours after meal i will feel hungry again. i would like to eat again. dad said no need to save money for food. just eat. haha…

i wont become fatter, dont worry. still the same. just because of gastric, i need to eat regularly on time and in a small amount. and i am too active. easily hungry is not something surprising. just deal it with me.

no food is provided during this month. am i happy or sad? i had no feeling… because… im very hungry and tired now. i not even have enough sleep. my study time is longer than working hours. today class finished at  5.40pm. after back from class, settle all my daily routine, start work. unlimited assignmentssss…

how about weekend? im just longing for weekend… wahahaha…. coming weekend will have a replacement class on morning… haha… weekend are gone… >.<

all studies and no play make may a dull gal. and indeed im quite dull here. only see his crazy face and always make me laugh, im out of the dull box.

today is my best friend’s birthday. im suppose to be happy but disappoint that im not able to celebrate with her. we celebrated our birthdays every year. i always spend time to choose the best present for her as she is my best friend. this year? hmm… even i will have my birthday at a foreign land… 26 sept only reach home. is it possible to celebrate my 18th birthday after i back to kl? i hope so… anyone will remember my birthday? i dont think so…

my target supposed to be sleep before 12am, but now is already 12.37am… while in the drama of "the merchant of venice" i was really tired. be a camera girl is not easy, have to walk here and there to capture photos. it was so tiring…

助人为快乐之本。真的那么快乐吗？哈哈，真的很“快”就会乐完了。我现在很累了，就是去纯粹帮忙，也没有什么回报。心想，如果每个人帮人都求回报，真的好辛苦噢。还是做个简单的人吧。当主耶稣在地上过为人生活时，他生为神的儿子，也不在意帮人洗脚。但他没有要求人洗回他的脚，甚至拒绝人的帮助。为什么人就不能如此呢？

明天就回家了，心情很轻松。 哈哈，现在趁我还在马来西亚时还能回，如果我去了英国…我想象不到我几久才会回来，哈哈，别想太远了。不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。

哈哈，讲到名句精华。今天有一句很经典。身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通。哈哈，我今天穿白衬衫，他也是。哈哈，笑死了，那么远都可以配到？这世上那么多人，很多人也是穿白嘛！做个简单的人，简单来说，只是凑巧，巧合。^^

really tired… nearly 1am… i feel myself is so funny. my blogging will mix up with english and chinese. make it prettier, beginning and ending written in english. no matter how, im still a TESL student, english teacher-to-be.